Ugh, how many times do I resolve to go to the gym to lift some weights and not go?  Too many times to count.  It’s all in the name of doing weight bearing exercise which the experts say us women of a certain age need to do.  I’ve never liked lifting weights and now even though I know I should, I don’t.

Well, Dr. Michelle Segar PhD in this article explains my lack of success and zings right in on that ‘should’ thing I just mentioned as the source of my trouble.  Dr. Segar focuses specifically on midlife women and their issues around weight, health and exercise and she has zeroed right in here on an issue that we’re all too likely to fall into.

If you lack on-going motivation for exercising and feel like you don’t have time for it, this blog is for you! But in order to understand the steps you need to take to help you, it is important first what is often the true hidden reason women say “I don’t have time to exercise.”

Time is a rare commodity these days. But, do women who are regularly physically active actually have more time than those who aren’t?

Women who are regularly active don’t have more time, but they do create time for exercise. What tends to distinguish the “I don’t have time” women is that they don’t prioritize being physically active. (Caveat: Women living in extreme circumstances such as mom’s with a newborn, women working 2-3 jobs to make ends meet do truly have less leisure time available for an activity such as exercise.)

The real question is why do some women prioritize fitting physical activity into their days and others don’t?
One reason is that the women who prioritize physical activity do so because it constitutes an important aspect of their self-care; it reduces their stress and enhances their sense of well-being. Their daily quality of life is enhanced when they are physically active and diminished whey they are not - so they are very motivated to fit it in! These women do what I call “want-based” physical activity.

In contrast to that group of women, most of us consider being physically active as a “should”; something that we are “supposed to do” rather than something that feel we need or actually want to do. We don’t consider physical activity as an essential aspect of our self-care. In fact, “should-based” physical activity can feel draining, more like a self-care detractor! Who really has time in their day for another “should”!?
 
The deeper differentiator between women with “want-based” and “should-based” physical activity isn’t how much time they have, it is how they personally experience being physically active.

The “want-based” women personalize and tailor physical activity to their likes and desires. They do what makes them feel good, what reduces their stress and gives them energy. In general, women who do the “should-based” exercise tend to follow other people’s recommendations, including what the media and/or “experts” say constitutes the RIGHT way to exercise and be fit. But this “should-based” approach doesn’t lend itself to being sustainable nor to being a life-enhancing experience. And there is no RIGHT way to exercise.

The majority of American women fall into the “should-based” category regarding exercise and physical activity – and don’t do it consistently. This is because of the predominant exercise prescription that we have learned from our culture during the past 25 years.

Importantly, I’ve found that “should-based” women can become “want-based” by learning how to tailor physical activity to themselves, their desires/likes, and lives. If you want to transform your relationship with physical activity to be “want-based” you can do the following:

1. Make a conscious decision that you WANT TO start getting the incredible self-care benefits that physical activity brings (improved mood and sleep, etc.)
2. Decide what experiences you want to have from physical activity (Reduced stress? Social time with friends?)
3. Chose a physical activity that will give you that experience(s). (Reduced stress? Try walking outside in nature; Social experience? Ask a friend or family member to take a walk, or join a gym with you.)
4. Plan it into your day, and give yourself permission to leave whatever you are working on/accomplishing to do your planned physical activity.
5. Evaluate whether the physical activity you chose gave you the experiences you wanted. If it wasn’t a positive experience, try a new type of physical activity, a different teacher, or try a lower intensity, try a different time of day, etc. (Figuring this out can be a process that may take some experimenting to figure out, but it is worth it.)
6. Decide that enhancing YOU AND YOUR SENSE OF WELL-BEING ARE WORTH spending time on.
   

Dr. Michelle Segar, PhD is an acknowledged expert in the area of midlife women, weight loss, and exercise.  Her research in psychology and human behavior has given her deep insight into what keeps women from making the behavioral changes necessary to lose weight and simply become healthier.  Her Essential Steps program has helped many women make sustainable behavioral changes to their health and weight.  Her research has been referred to by The Washington Post, Shape, Women’s Day and she was most recently featured in the November 2008 issue of More magazine as their featured health expert. Michelle's website is Essential Steps.

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